You guys, yesterday sucked. It sucked epically. It sucked up, down, left, right and center. It sucked so much that I went off my sugar free diet and swan dived (gracefully of course) directly into a milkshake. And cookies. And cake. My feelings are really delicious.
The day started with shitty news that I can't go into her for fun legal reasons. But wow with the shitty. So, then I was like 'hey, my nanny is out today and I need a pick me up, why don't I sit on the floor with the baby and play for a bit instead of doing work'. Theoretically this would work. In actuality it lead to the following.
There I am, sitting on the floor and singing her favorite song and using her elephant toy as a dancing prop. She was sitting between my knees, giggling. Then, the screen on my computer (placed on the outside of my legs about a foot and a half away) blinked, and captured her attention. Before I knew what happened, she was air born and trying to grab my computer. As she is not a bird, her flight was not successful and instead, she landed on the floor beside the computer, catching the edge of the screen with her temple. She cried for 15 seconds. I cried for the next 15 hours. After she was calm, I noticed there was a mark on her head so I called her doctor to see what he advised. He immediately told me to go to the hospital, do not delay, run. So, hysterical me picked up my stuff and ran there.
First of all, it was the most efficient ER I've ever been to. If you've been reading this blog for awhile you know I've been to a few of them (ahem) and have waited up to 10 hours to be seen. Here, I was one of 2 people waiting and was not only admitted, but seen by the doctor, AND DISCHARGED, within 90 minutes. Second, all, thank god, was fine and she basically smiled and cooed at everyone while I sat there hysterically crying and hugging her. It's a good, strong look for me. The doctor was reassuring and essentially patted me on the head and said that at some point all first time moms bring their kids to the ER and it's better to be safe than sorry.
But let me tell you the really fun part of the story wherein I get to solidify my disdain for humanity. I'm sitting in the waiting room, hysterical, holding my daughter when an older couple, aka the only other people in the room, came up to me. I knew they wanted to discuss the baby but my body language was telling them to stay away. They didn't.
Older man: What a cute baby boy! How old is he?
Me: She's a girl. And 6 months.
Older man: No. That's a boy.
Older man: But he doesn't have any hair! Girls have hair! What's his name.
Me: (telling him her name)
Older man: That's a silly name for a boy. Sheesh.
And then he walked away.
If anyone is handing out medals for Not Stabbing Strangers, I believe I am currently up for gold.