The Adventures of Me

Why I Shouldn't Have Access to Credit Cards, Reason #926

On Tuesday I went to dinner with a friend. I had an overwhelming urge to eat all of the curry that has even been created and thus we went for Indian. While I was weeping over how delicious my food was I looked up and found her transfixed by something behind me.

Me: What's up?

Her: I... don't know... I think it's Bollywood MTV?

And so I turned around. Internet, there was a large TV playing the most incredible thing I've ever seen. It was as though Jersey Shore had moved to India and taken up Bollywood dancing. There was Ed Hardy, chains and arm waving. As it's me and I was upright and eating there was also a lot of wine. There was also access to an iPhone. These two combined with my Amazon Prime membership is how I drunkenly ordered the Bollywood Hitz, volume 3, on dvd. It should arrive momentarily.

It's so weird I don't have a retirement plan, huh? I do however own the most amazing thing ever recorded in the history of mankind. Oh and a deep fryer. So yeah. I'm pretty set.

Oh. Right. Hi.

So, remember when I blogged a couple of weeks ago? That was fun. Then I had to return to being a real adult and suddenly I have to use my brain for things other than remembering the best happy hour spots in town. As my brain has been unaccustomed to this for oh, the last 3 to 5 years, it's been an arduous journey. I have both had to put on pants AND use words to speak to people. I know. Complicated.

So, in doing the very important adult things my whole world, to quote the Fresh Price, had been flipped turned upside down. But, I am still here, occasionally being drunk in various parts of Los Angeles and posting pictures of my cats to random social media sites, (side note: I am such a fucking giver), and will attempt to blog more in the coming weeks. Right after I manage to go to the grocery store. It's been 3 weeks dudes. Shit is getting dire.

Why I Can't Have Nice Things

Ah yes, the internet. You see, since going on my hiatus from adulthood I kind of just, well, forgot it existed. Instead I focused on the more important things in life: napping and consuming vast quantities of carbohydrates. Literally, this is all I have done since my last day of work on December 9th. For those of you keeping track at home that is almost a full month of utter and complete slackage. Internet? It was fucking wonderful. My wish for you in the year of 2012 is that you too get to relive your teenage days without the angst and acne and get to just nap on the couch for a winter break.

In other news I bought an iPhone. In other other news I broke it within 84 minutes of owning said iPhone. How? Well, I'm an idiot, that's how.

You see, I was loading a large bag into my car along with another wee bag full of highly breakable wine glasses. My purse, containing the new glorious phone currently without case as it was just purchased and the store only had ugly ones, was slung over my shoulder, wide open. When opening the back door of my car and swinging the heavy bag towards the back seat I somehow tripped over air and started to lose my balance. As I have priorities I literally said out loud 'no, not the wine glasses!' and swung my body mid-trip to protect them. In doing so I flung my purse and out sailed the iPhone and it flew, face down on the concrete, shattering into 100 pieces.

In case you were wondering the $24 of wine glasses were fine.

YAY!

So I got to go to the Apple store, explain what had happened and purchase a new one, this time with insurance and a case.

In short: get a purse that zips and also, I'm an idiot. An idiot that's back on the internet! Boom! Welcome to 2012!